Conservation by Rae Rozman

Originally published in Trouble Among the Stars (November 2019)

I have spent an inordinate amount of time

writing your eulogy in my head

I’d talk about how matter

is neither created nor destroyed

how the collection of molecules shaped like you

have found homes in something else:

maybe a cat

or a tulip

or a cardboard box

some soccer mom carries out of Costco

Schrodinger’s woman:

everywhere and nowhere at once

You answer on the fifth ring when I call

your voice laden with life across the miles

and for a few minutes

I shelve my speech

until we hang up the phone

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Rae Rozman is a middle school counselor in Austin, Texas. Her poetry, which often explores themes of queer love (romantic and platonic), loss, and education, has been featured in several literary magazines and anthologies. An introvert and a nerd, she can often be found curled up in a sunny windowsill with a fantasy/sci-fi novel. You can find her on Instagram @mistress_of_mnemosyne where she shares poems, book reviews, and pictures of her two adorable rescue bunnies.