"Music Is Over!" by Ben Arzate (Excerpt)
ONE TWO THREE FOUR!
Juntaro fixed his makeup in the mirror. In the bed of the love hotel room, the chubby salaryman that he’d come with had fallen asleep. He didn’t mind. It wasn’t a satisfying encounter, but he couldn’t remember having one since Tetsuya died. He put his makeup back in his purse and stared at his reflection for a moment. He wondered how much longer he’d be able to stave off the inevitable signs of aging that would eventually come.
Juntaro walked out of the bathroom. He looked over the salaryman’s naked body sprawled out on the bed. In the past, the image may have stirred him to wake up his partner for tonight by sucking his cock. Tonight, however, it only made him want to go home and be alone. He grabbed his hat off the floor, put on his shoes, and left the room.
As he passed the front desk he felt self-conscious in his blouse and skirt. He held his breath until he got outside onto the sidewalk. There used to be a thrill in coming to these love hotels that prohibited gay male couples. He was almost always able to pass himself as a woman without the staff suspecting a thing. Knowing that he might be found out made his visits with Tetsuya or some other man he picked up even more exciting. Now it didn’t seem worth it. He regretted not just having the salaryman take him to one that catered to gay men.
He started his walk home, the neon lights of the Shinjuku district burning above him. The cool night air and the sounds of the city cleared his head and he soon realized that his stomach was rumbling. He found the nearest convenience store and bought some snacks. He brought them to a bench just a couple blocks away and sat down to enjoy them.
As he ate his egg sandwich, he heard footsteps approaching. He glanced up to see a woman walking toward him with her head down. He figured she must be drunk or tired and went back to eating. He felt the bench shake slightly as the woman sat down quickly on the other side as if her legs had given out. He looked over at her. She was rummaging in her trench coat pocket for something. He noticed she was wearing a surgical mask. It wouldn’t have bothered him, but he also noticed a wide scar running down her cheek and behind the mask. He remembered hearing the rumors, but he thought that they couldn’t be true. They were just ghost stories.
Then the woman slowly turned her head toward him. Her gaze made him freeze. She leaned toward him with her eyes wide and said, “Am I pretty?”
Juntaro’s mind scrambled for the right thing to say, but nothing came out of his mouth. The only thought that came clearly to him was that if his bowels weren’t empty, he would have evacuated them right there.
Ben Arzate lives in Des Moines, IA. He is the author of the novels The Story of the Y and Elaine, the short story collection The Complete Idiot's Guide to Saying Goodbye, the book of plays PLAYS/hauntologies, and the poetry collections dr. sodom and mrs. gomorrah and the sky is black and blue like a battered child. He is a regular contributor to Cultured Vultures and Babou 691. Find him online at dripdropdripdropdripdrop.blogspot.com.
Music Is Over! is available for preorder now for the discounted price of $13!
