Episode 14: Trigger Words

"It's not a gun problem. It's a people problem. Because guns don't kill people, people kill people. Taking the guns won't solve the problem."

"I don't want to take your guns away. I'm just saying, I guess if that's your thing I'm happy for you, but just because your .45 has a wide enough hole for you to stick your dick in doesn't mean you should do it. Also that's not what gun lubricant is for."

"Typical libcuck. Hates the Second Amendment."

"I don't hate the Second Amendment. I do sort of hate you. But that doesn't mean I want to see you shoot your dick off. Well, maybe a little bit, but I also don't want to give up on the idea that you're still in there somewhere, that behind this cultish devotion to guns, Trump, and white grievance, there's still the old Bo. But seriously, stop sticking your dick inside your gun."

"Mental illness."

"What about mental illness?"

"Did I just randomly say 'mental illness'? Damn. Whenever libtards say 'gun' I'm conditioned to say 'mental illness.' It's a trigger word. One of the last remaining perks of my NRA membership. Here's the truth, libcuck, and I'm only telling you because we're old friends. Have you ever heard the phrase 'Liberalism is a mental illness'?"

"Pretty much every time I see you I hear it."

"And you've noticed how the NRA is really focused on keeping guns out of the hands of mentally ill people? You follow?"

"So they want to make it so that only right-wing gun fetishists can own guns?"

"Mental illness. Exactly. So that when it's time destroy the libtards you won't be able to defend yourselves."

"Yeah we knew that already, but thanks for confirming our suspicions."

"You're welcome. Hey!" 

"So if 'gun'—" 

"Mental illness."

"—is a trigger word, are you saying you were brainwashed?"

"But her emails."


"The pope is a Marxist plant."


"Make America Great Again!"



"Let me try that again. Fucknoodle."

"Make America Great Again!"

"Jesus Christ."

"Jesus was white!"

"This is a nightmare."

"Obama rigged the election that's treason!"

 "Hey, what's the deal with that creepy black van up there? No don't go over there."

"I have to. I've said too much."

"You've said too much? What does that mean? Oh God, we're all fucked."

"Ivanka 2024!"

©Alan Good 2018