Episode 12: Gun Lover

"You Fascist Communists all want to ban assault rifles. Thing is, you don't know what you're talking about. You want to ban 'Assault Rifles' but you don't have a clear definition of the term. You just think the 'AR' in 'AR-15' stands for 'assault rifle' but it don't. It stands for 'ArmaLite Rifle.' See the problem?"

"Shouldn't it be the 'ALR-15' then?"

"Stop quibbling."

"You're upset because you think I think 'AR' stands for 'assault rifle' but in the same breath you called me a 'Fascist Communist,' two philosophies that are incompatible with each other, neither of which describe me. Do you see the problem?"


"I said 'Do you see the problem?'"


"Bo. Bo. BO!"

"Huh? What?"

"It's sort of hard to talk to you when you're tonguing the inside of the nozzle of your assault rifle like that. Jesus fuck, the fucking safety's off, too. You're breaking so many rules of gun safety right now."

"Bitch don't lecture me on guns you don't even know what 'AR' stands for!

©Alan Good 2018