Just fuck everything. Just fuck it all to Hell.
Seriously: there is only one lesson that students of modern history need to learn: the bigger the fuckup, the bigger the reward. James Comey helped make Donald Trump president. Whatever he does to try to make up for that historical blunder will not make up for it. Probably. I don't doubt his sincerity; I appreciate the difficulty of the position he was in leading up to the election; I sort of respect that he sort of stood up to Trump, but do we need a book about leadership from a guy whose idea of leadership was to sit on all the information his organization was collecting on the Trump campaign and turn around and make a big show two weeks before the election about how the FBI was half-assedly reviving its investigation into Hillary Clinton's emails? If that wasn't an attempt to sway the election, then it's simple incompetence. If he didn't send his letter to Congress knowing the fuckers would leak it to the press immediately, then sending it was, again, simple incompetence. Call me old-fashioned, call me unrealistic, but I've never regarded either duplicity or incompetence (whichever one drove him to make his dumbass announcement) as the qualities of a good leader.
I don't know how much the book deal is worth, but here's the lede from Politico: "Former FBI Director James Comey has reached a MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR BOOK DEAL with Flatiron Books to pen an as-of-yet unnamed book on leadership." (Italics, bold type, and ALL CAPS mine.)
©Alan Good 2017
Friday, April 13, 2018. Update: Comey's book comes out next week, and it's already a best-seller. For a minute I thought I was too harsh, back in September, but I think I stand by my criticism, not that anything matters. Comey claims he was certain Clinton was going to win the election, so certain, it seems, that he didn't consider that his actions could influence the election. I don't have a copy of the book, so here's an excerpt from a Guardian article (written by Tom McCarthy):
In Comey’s new book, A Higher Loyalty, a copy of which was obtained by the Guardian on Thursday, the former FBI director writes that before he wrote to Congress to say investigators were reviewing a newly acquired batch of Clinton emails, a “brilliant and quiet” lawyer on his team asked him a pointed question.
“Should you consider that what you are about to do may help elect Donald Trump president?”
Comey thanked the lawyer for her question, he writes. And then he answered with a resounding: “No.”
Next time, Comey, listen to the "brilliant and quiet" lawyer. That exchange is really a perfect metaphor for America. Brilliant quiet people don't speak up frequently, but when they do we dismiss them with resounding nos and listen instead to loud buffoons. I don't blame Comey. He had a role, he blundered, he's certainly not blameless, but Hillary Clinton should have run a better campaign, journalists should have done their work better, instead of letting Trump play them, the Republican Party should have—fuck it, everyone in the GOP can just go straight to Hell. A lot of people fucked up, quite a few people were running around doing nefarious shit, but the ultimate blame lies on everyone who failed to vote for Hillary Clinton.
Comey's book didn't even have a cover when I first wrote about it. Now it has one and is for sale. It costs $29.99. You can get it for a lot cheaper on Amazon; the thing about being a giant is that you can undercut everyone else.